Hansonism

Tommy Hanson arrives in Orlando for 2011 Spring Training.

tommyhanson99 — Sun, 27 Feb 2011 00:53:37 +0000

Raw Dog

tommyhanson99 — Tue, 01 Jun 2010 12:38:01 +0000

According to Chipper Jones, hitting without batting gloves, Brooks Conrad “raw dogs” it at the plate. Tommy Hanson raw dogs it with bitches with gonorrhea.

Super Powers

tommyhanson99 — Tue, 25 May 2010 23:42:38 +0000

Though Tommy was unable to grant Nate McClouth the ability to get a hit with runners in scoring position, he was able to teach Nate how to fly before Tuesdays game.

Secret Revealed

tommyhanson99 — Fri, 21 May 2010 22:11:24 +0000

ATLANTA – Tommy Hanson blows game on purpose to allow comeback, which results in the 2010 baseball quote of the year from Mr. Joe Simpson:

“I’ve seen two rodeos and three goat-ropings, but I’ve never seen anything like that!”

Bakery

tommyhanson99 — Fri, 07 May 2010 21:50:38 +0000

Tommy Hanson murdered the maker of this cake with a fastball to the face.

Do not play jokes with Tommy Hanson's manager's cake

Movies

tommyhanson99 — Sat, 17 Apr 2010 02:14:10 +0000

Tommy Hanson made a cameo in Its Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs. Now all women refer to it as Horny with a Chance of Tommy’s Balls.

You're saying I've got a chance?!?!

Trucks!!!

tommyhanson99 — Sat, 17 Apr 2010 02:07:26 +0000

Tommy Hanson just ascertained that every month is truck month.

Tommy: "It's every month motherfucker"

Fantasy

tommyhanson99 — Wed, 17 Mar 2010 02:11:30 +0000

Tommy Hanson only plays fantasy baseball.

"I paid $54 for Tommy Hanson in my NL-only keeper league."

Spring Training 2010

tommyhanson99 — Tue, 23 Feb 2010 21:34:39 +0000

In an effort to even the playing field, Tommy Hanson has decided this year to signal his slider by sticking his tongue at the hitter has he completes his wind-up and throwing motion.

You still don't have a chance.

www.Baseball-Reference.com

tommyhanson99 — Fri, 11 Sep 2009 12:45:08 +0000

A preview of a portion of Tommy Hanson’s page on www.baseball-reference.com upon his early retirement in 2020, for cloning purposes.

MOST SIMILAR BY AGE:

21. Jesus Christ (991) 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 C

22. Jesus Christ (984) 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 C

23. Jesus Christ (975) 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 C

24. Jesus Christ (966) 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 C

25. Jesus Christ (991) 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 C

26. Jesus Christ (984) 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 C

27. Jesus Christ (975) 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 C

28. Jesus Christ (966) 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 C

29. Jesus Christ (966) 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 C

30. Jesus Christ (991) 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 C

31. Jesus Christ (984) 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 C

32. Jesus Christ (975) 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 C

33. Bob Gibson[1] (966) 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 C

34. Warren Spahn (987) 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 C

FOOTNOTE 1: Interestingly, at 32, Tommy Hanson had less than the 1.12 ERA posted by Bob Gibson at the same age. This is just the closest similarity their researchers could locate.